I think about you on a daily basis. Hell daily is an under exaggeration of my thoughts, and an even greater under exaggeration of the feeling my body receives when the thought of you lingers within my mind.
Why must I feel such emotion to you and receive this absolute indifference when I know you think and feel the same? What terrible thing did I do to you. I never broke your heart, and i’ve only poured mine into your hands time and time again only to have it returned in shattered pieces of rejection and neglect.
Why am I treated with such distrust, while you go and let your heart, body and soul linger in places that don’t see your true beauty and significance. Why must I suffer this way, and why do you continue to be the culprit of this horrible heartache I continue to struggle against every waking moment of my life.
Hell at this point I wish it was only the waking moments of my life. You even appear in my dreams now. Only sadly in my dreams you are the one chasing me and I am the one walking away. But I don’t want that to be our relationship.
I cant help what I feel, and now its controlling how I think. My feelings create this horrible thought of you. The feeling of neglect makes me think you are uninterested, the feeling of annoyance makes me feel like a nuisance. As if I will never be good enough, nothing I can do or conjure in this world will allow your heart and mine to finally unite and become what I know we can become. What we are meant to become.
I know you feel it too. I know you feel it when our lips meet, and I know you feel it when you press your body against my own.
Perhaps I’m just delusional, maybe I’m slightly crazy. Maybe I’m completely crazy, but I cant help this feeling I have that lingers deep in my chest. Time away from you tares me apart, and when I know you’re talking to another, I just feel “enterrado en el olvido”.